living in the village

Hey allemaal!

Hier het verslag van mijn 2-daagse in het dorp. Eindelijk heb ik het online kunnen zetten! Sorry dat het in het Engels is maar we moesten onze ervaringen neerschrijven voor onze stagebegeleider en ik had geen zin om het nog eens te vertalen... Maar als ik het kon schrijven (bloed, zweet en tranen) kunnen jullie het ook lezen he :)

Veel groetjes!
Jo


Renganathapuram, 02/02/2010
Johanna Borms

LIVING IN THE VILLAGE
27-28-29 / 01 / 2010

Around 4 pm I heard a motorcycle stop in front of the house. I was playing cards on the balcony with my friends, my companions, without whom I never would have started this adventure. I knew Velu had come to pick me up, this would be the first time in India I set of without Febe and Ira.
When I first arrived here, in the place I will stay for five months to complete my internship, I didn’t feel like spending this time apart to live in a village. Although I always saw and understood the purpose of it, I felt anxious. What would I say, how would we communicate, what would we do, how would people react when a white girl came and disrupted their daily life. Would they think I was this lucky, rich girl are would they understand that I really cared about the difficulties they are facing. That I decided to do this because I know it will be a learning experience that will change me for the better and will stay with me forever.
But after only being here for a week I was actually looking forward to it, the scared feeling was changed in a positive way. I still felt unconfident but now I was curious and I felt calm, like I knew everything was going to be alright.
Only by watching and listening to this country, these people, this nature, the colours, this view, … my opinion altered.
The past weeks have been so full of impressions and emotions, every step I take is new and exciting. That‘s a great feeling but also exhausting. I have felt impressed, unsure, joyful, alone, inspired, confused, lucky, and so many other things in such a short time. But most of all very happy and relieved.
All these thoughts; sometimes it’s like the minimalism that surrounds me here, makes everything more complicated…

Anyhow, with this overload in my head, I left Renganathapuram and my friends. The trip on the motorcycle was great. With my hair in the wind and the sun on my back we drove along nice villages, over dusty roads. Off to a place I didn’t know, with a man I didn’t know, to people I didn’t know. But still I felt peaceful, somehow I liked it that the future was unknown. Come what may!

When we arrived at Velu’s house I got a warm welcome from Angela, his wife, and Sibbe, their 4 years old son. They really have a nice house. It’s surrounded by a little wall and many plants and trees. You immediately step into a small patio with a well that provides the little yard constantly with water and where they wash themselves. Velu parks his motorcycle under a little shed, there is also a bicycle. I greet an old woman who is sitting in front of the house, it’s Velu’s mother. The house has two separate rooms, one is the kitchen and the other is the living room and bedroom. Angela is preparing dinner on a gas-burner. Other than pots and pans, a new mixer and some provisions there is not much in the room, but it’s nice. The living room is small and a little crowded. There is a double bed that‘s also used as a sofa, a desk with a television and a closet. What immediately strikes me is the picture of Velu and Samy, on top of the television, and another picture of a man. It’s Velu’s father who passed away, the light under it is always burning. Under the shed in front of these rooms are hanging clothes, between the tiles and the beams of the roof there are 4 toothbrushes and soap.
It’s a nice, inviting place, I feel good. While Velu is picking up his oldest son from school, I help the youngest with his homework. He is a little shay, me to actually. Everything is still awkward. I am glad that I can arrive calm. Till now nobody has treated me differently because I am white or started to ask me all kinds of questions. I appreciate that, because that was also one of my worries, to be surrounded by a crowd and treated as if I was a v.i.p. When Velu is back he asks if I want to meet his best friends, of course! They live nearby. From this moment on the staring and the talking about me, instead of talking with me, begins. I know everyone wants to know who I am, where I come from and what I ‘m doing here, but it’s not pleasant if you here everyone talking about you while you don’t understand a word. Suddenly I feel really weak and alone. To get the communication started I dig up the few words I know in Tamil. Kavia, their daughter, is a nice, bold girl. She shows me her English schoolbook, something we can talk about for a long time. Out of politeness I accept a big plate with two dossy’s and all kinds of other food, it is great but as I am eating I realise that this is not my diner. Velu and his children are not eating here, so that means I have to eat for real at his place. At first I did not get that, so a half our later I am doing my best to finish the rise and dossy in front of me!
That night the family friends drop by again to say goodnight and the talking about me goes on. I think it’s because I am really tired, but I want them all to leave and I want to write a bit, cry a bit and then sleep! But that’s not going to happen! First of all I want to get over this feeling and second, I sleep in the same room as the Angela and the children. I have to sleep in the big bed and they sleep next to me on the floor. Velu sleeps in the kitchen for the occasion. Now I really feel bad! But tomorrow is another day and it will be a good one.

Angela gets up early, it’s still dark outside. She wakes the kids at 7 am, I also get up. Velu takes me to his other place, at one kilometre away. He wants to show me where Angela works in the rain season. Here they can make some kind of wooden blocks, you can build houses with it, if I understand correctly!
Back at the house the children wash themselves, finish their homework, and eat a bit. It’s funny to see that many things are the same as in Belgium. The mother makes sure they wash themselves properly, that their uniforms are washed and worn nicely, that they finish their breakfast. The father handles the new full automatic mixer to make juice and does the finishing touch on the appearance of his sons. He combs their hair nicely and powders them. It‘s so funny to see these boys with their black skin covered in white powder, I don’t know what it’s for…
Around 9 am the school bus comes to pick them up. Velu and I sit down to eat our breakfast. He tells me about the pictures in the living room. He says he is a Hindu but he doesn’t go to the temple, his father is his god and Samy has done so much for him. So these are the two people he wants to thank every day. I also get to see his wedding photos. It’s nice that he tells me these personal things. So I tell a bit about my family to.
Than we leave with the motorcycle, I really like that. We drive true several villages, it’s nice to see and be part of these peoples day for just a minute. From where I sit I can see and observe the habits and behaviours of these little societies. I love life in a village, also in Belgium. I live in a city and I don’t even know the people who live in my street. But when I am at my grandmother who lives in the countryside it’s different, people know and care about each other. I can see the same thing here. Although I also see the difference between the streets where non dalits live and where dalits live. And then I wonder if the bad relationship between these two groups has improved are not.
We make a stop at many places where I meet friends of Velu:
- A young couple that married the day before, of course they have to take a picture with me and I have to eat.
- An old friend that tells me to sit down and asks me if I want to eat or drink something.
- A lady who owns a photo studio with the help of Areds, I don’t have to drink or eat anything.
- A man in the bank, he knows Areds and wants to know everything about me.
- A journalist who also wants to know my story and definitely wants to bay me chai.

Everywhere I come I use my Tamil, apparently it is very funny when I say ‘vanakam’ or ‘nandri’. I have to keep in mind that it is very strange for them to see a foreigner. In Belgium it’s not new, especially in Brussels we have a multicultural society, we are used to different faces and strange languages. Here on the other hand it’s really rear. I think that I sometimes judge to fast or get irritated and really uncomfortable when everyone stares at me. When actually they have all the right to question my visit and feel curious.

Next stop is a place where a trainer of Areds is busy informing woman who want to become a Swate member. Velu plays a little awareness game with them, it’s nice to see. Everyone is committed, but of course they are distracted by the white girl in the room…
Then we go to the Swate office, Velu has to bring his monthly report.
Hereafter we go back to the village of the old friend. There is a market going on, I like all the activity that’s going on. First I have to sit, of course, and eat a lot of rise and eggs. Also an apple, dose are not very good here if you compare it to the ones in Belgium, but I eat it with taste because I know it’s expensive here. Then we go around the market to bay some vegetables, I love markets, I definitely have to go one time with Ira and Febe. Velu and his friends take me to the butcher, we bay a sheep for the diner tonight! I like sheep-meat but I don’t have to see how the butcher cuts al the intestines while his wife shows me the head of the sheep! I hope I get this image out of my head before this meat lays on my plate tonight. Velu tells me he is happy that I am staying whit him in stat of Febe, because I am a non vegetarian. I put on my biggest smile, my cheeks are starting to heart from all this smiling. But it’s good, I hope this way they know that I am enjoying myself and that I ‘m eager to get to know them. Because it’s still not easy to communicate, the body language is so different here. This morning I felt really bad about that, I wanted to tell things and ask things, but how? Now I am sitting here, again drinking chai, I decide I am not going to let it get to me. I let them tell me to sit down and I drink and eat whatever they want me to. I let the silence be and enjoy the view and the commotion around me.
In this village Velu also shows me a place where they sell basic products from the government. I wonder if this is a good are a bad thing, do they ask a fare price? I don’t really get an answer.

Back home, Velu shows me around his village. We visit several things:
- The fields of his best friends, they have a lot of land and grow many things. They sell it in the nearby villages, such as the milk from their cows. I work a little on the field but I think they don’t like it, they want me to sit down and eat sugarcane.
- A bakery where a mother works with her daughters. They are really nice, of course I have to taste a cookie and a banana. They sell the cookies in de city.
- A place where they fill and close little bags with chips and nuts. They don’t accept no for an answer when I try to explain that I eaten enough for a whole week, so I eat the chips.
- We walk past a big basin. Velu tells me that, when it’s full, it can provide water for all the land around de village. Until now we both have been a little shay but now he tells me with confidence that he made sure that this irrigation system was build and that his panchayat had a good road. He fought more than 15 years, in 2008 the road finally came. I begin to understand more about what Velu does and for the communities and I feel grateful that I can spend time with him.

It seems like the people in the village are grateful to, it’s getting dark and one after one appears on the patio to see me and talk with me. I notice that it doesn’t bother me, good! It’s also because they are talking with me, not about me. They speak highly of Velu.
Velu shows me proud his diploma’s, it’s great to here the stories. I also discover why the picture of him and Samy is so important. Areds helped him al lot. His family was very poor, there house used to be the shad where the motorcycle is standing under now. I realise I am living in one of many success stories of Areds. I can see on his face what this organisation means to him and I can feel how much he wants to do good. How much he wants to help others such as Areds helped him.
It was a long day and I am tired but with this group of friends and family around me I feel good.

The next morning the same ritual is going on. When I am alone with the family in Velu’s house I can really experience life in the village. When we are on the road everyone falls out of his daily habits to look at me, that’s a pity. At 10 am I say goodbye to Angela, we are leaving for the staff meeting of Velu’s panchayat, and I am not coming back. Not this time anyway.
The meeting is nice to follow but long. I can see that the field operators are coming to Velu with their problems. Although I can’t understand it is nice to see how they work together. There has to be done a lot of administrative work. I sit and read a book, I enjoy the quiet work environment.
Around 2 pm we leave, it’s time to go back to Renganathapuram. Velu takes a short cut, we drive along beautiful roads. I am looking forward to see my friends and to share our experiences, I have missed them.

It has been nice but I am exhausted. Never underestimate how difficult it is to constantly make efforts to communicate about easy things, how hard to keep up with all the staring and the talking about you, to smile and be happy when you feel alone, to have another skin colour, to constantly adjust to all the new things, to feel that nobody knows you are understands you,…
Therefore I think two day’s is enough for the first time. Though I am sure that I want to do this again and that I will be stronger the next time!
Looking back I sometimes think that I could have done more, try harder. I definitely will do that when I get the chance to life in an unknown village again. I hope I will have an equally nice guide at that time. Velu was great, he really took care of me!

All the rather negative feelings I had are nothing compared to what I have seen. Although I still don’t understand it, India is beautiful!